American Idol Thoughts
- The judges keep telling us that Comedy Guy is entertaining and “can actually SING,” and neither of those things is true. He’s every hack character you see in Harold team auditions at IO, and every terrible singer you see at Dimples. Fuck that guy.
- Megan Corkrey will absolutely sweep the herero male blogger demo. You watch.
- Welder Guy loses points for singing TONIC*, but at least he replicated the lead singer’s ridiculous rock pronunciation: “If yew keed onleh see.” I hate the song, but that shit is one of my ’90s highlights.
- Jesse Little Singer Of Jonny Lang wins tonight’s Most Underrated. She was like a version of Chloe Lattanzi who probably won’t stab you. One to watch.
- There are two ways to have long hair, and one of them makes you look homeless. Kai has that kind.
- Mishavonna Henson sang “Drops of Jupiter,” which a) is horrible, and b) I love. (It was inescapable during a key year for me, when things were really starting to get good career-wise and I had great roommates in a sweet East Village apartment and life was just ON POINT, so whether it’s a good song or a bad song is irrelevant, though it is indisputably a bad song.) And she actually did a good job, even though literally every other song ever written would have been a more-appropriate choice.
- I’m fairly certain Adam Lambert is one of the women on “The L-Word.” Or Sam Harris from the first “Star Search.” I also fear he’ll make it to the next round. He is awful.
- Matt Giraud is a dreamboat, and should have picked something better.
- My predictions: Alison, Adam, Megan. Matt & Jesse wildcard.
- There has never EVER been a less-funny group of people than Ryan Seacrest and the judges. And they think they’re the fucking Algonquin Round Table. Case in point: the subject was age, and they all pointed at Simon.
Paula: “HE’S the oldest person here! He’s 60!”
Randy: “No, he’s 65!”
Get it? Because 65 is more?
* If you’re singing Tonic, you go “Open Up Your Eyes.” Everybody knows that.
